


Wake Up

by Trigger Finger (NatashaCole)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Injury, Mention of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:18:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaCole/pseuds/Trigger%20Finger
Summary: Reader has the ideal life with Chuck; they are together, their friends are happy, life is perfect. She feels like she’s forgotten something though… something that could shatter the perfect world that she lives in.





	Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little idea I’ve had in my mind for a while. It’s a strange idea, but I hope it translates.

You woke up to another beautiful day. The sun cast itself through the curtains across your bed and you did the same thing that you did every morning. You snuggled against Chuck, melting into the warmth that you always felt when you were in his arms.

“Mmm, morning,” he muttered sleepily as your movements caused him to stir. He pressed against you and placed a soft kiss to the back of your neck, causing you to sigh happily.

“It’s always a good morning,” you replied.

“You ready for today?”

“I am,” you smiled. “Speaking of, we better get up so we can start getting things ready.”

You and Chuck got up, not before spending a few moments cuddling in bed together, and began to get ready for the day.

It was your birthday, and you had invited all of your friends over for a barbecue to celebrate. 

Today though, there was a slight worry in the back of your mind. You tried to push it away as you moved through your morning, but it was there for the first time in a long time. Life had been so perfect, and you wondered why today of all days had you feeling on edge.

* * *

After you had prepped for the party, you wandered into Chuck’s study to find him. You leaned against the door-frame and smiled as you watched him type contently on his computer.

“Hey,” you said softly, “people are showing up.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said with a smile, his beautiful blue eyes peering at you over the frames of his glasses.

You greeted your friends as they walked in, each one of them pulling you in for hugs that, for some reason, made the ache in your chest grow stronger. You began to feel alone as your house filled up with loved ones, a strange feeling as you looked around and notice that you were far from alone.

Why you were feeling this way today, you didn’t know. So, you tried your best to ignore it.

There was so much happiness today. Conversations and laughter filled your home, and you should have been feeling complete. It was the perfect day.

* * *

Later on, as the party died down, you sat on the patio and stared off at the clear blue sky, taking in the warmth of the sun.

You were lost in thought again. Throughout the day, you had been thinking about a lot of things. Things that seemed like old memories had started to invade your mind, and they weren’t happy memories. Something about them was off, and you wondered if they were even memories at all.

You glanced over as Cas joined you, taking a seat next to you as he too stared off at the sky quietly.

“Hey, Cas,” you began quietly. “You ever notice that we’ve had a lot of beautiful days lately?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he chuckled in return.

“I’m not complaining,” you sighed. “It’s just- it’s weird, right? It’s spring. Shouldn’t we be having rainstorms or something?”

He shrugged as he watched you with curious eyes. Of course he probably hadn’t thought of it really. Leave it to you to be the only one to wonder about the bad weather instead of fully enjoying the great weather.

“I don’t know,” you added. “I was just thinking about it is all.”

“I think you’re perceiving more than you should be,” he said simply.

“What does that mean?” You asked, thrown off by his strange statement.

“What does what mean?”

“That thing you just said…”

“What? That we should enjoy the nice days while they’re here?”

“You didn’t say that,” you replied.

“Yeah, I did,” he laughed, “I’m pretty sure I know what I said.”

He gave you a puzzled look, as he reached over and placed the back of his hand to your forehead.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked as his eyes studied you. “You don’t appear to have a fever…”

“I’m fine, Cas,” you said as you swatted his hand away.

He gave you another concerned glance before excusing himself from your presence, leaving you to wonder if you were actually okay.

You knew what you had heard, you weren’t hard of hearing. His statement had been weird, and his denial of what he had said even stranger.

You stared back at the sky, knowing that you shouldn’t be concerned over the nice weather. Still, something about didn’t feel quite right.

* * *

The day went by, turning into night. Even the nighttime seemed so perfect. Uncomfortably perfect.

Every person in your life was happy. You were happy too, but with each hour that passed, the feeling in your chest seemed to grow stronger.

By the end of the evening, after the guests had left and you and Chuck basked in the silence together, you felt as if you had a never-ending ache in your chest, almost as if something important was missing. You hated that you felt this way lately, especially when you had everything you could ever want.

You had your Chuck here to love you unconditionally. You had your friends, your family; all of whom were safe and happy. Why did you feel so much emptiness?

“I’m going to do some work for a bit,” you heard Chuck’s voice call out to you as you sat on the couch, staring off mindlessly as one of your ‘memories’ replayed in your head.

You had been thinking about a time when you sat back and watched as Chuck had a vision. He had been a prophet before, and the visions were brutal. You felt as if you had witnessed countless nights of him in pain. It was there in your mind, clear as day. What were probably just dreams, seemed too real for you to ignore though.

You looked up at Chuck as he caught your attention, wanting to say something, but still feeling as if you shouldn’t. It felt wrong to bring it up.

“Okay,” you mumbled in return.

You got up and walked toward him, probably looking as if you were a bit off, because he frowned at you as you approached him.

“What’s going on with you today?” He asked as he moved toward you. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing his lips to your forehead before moving to rest his head against your neck.

“Nothing. I just- things feel… off. I can’t figure out why.”

“Wake up, Y/N,” he whispered against your ear.

It was a strange thing for him to say, and the suddenness of it caused your breath to catch. You pulled back from him slowly, making sure to make eye contact with him as you did so.

“What?” You asked.

“I said, I love you,” he replied.

“No, that’s not what you said.”

“I’m pretty sure I know what I said,” he grinned.

“I swear I heard something else,” you replied, shaking your head in confusion.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” He asked as he brought a hand up to your face. You pushed it away gently before he could do what you knew he was going to do.

“I’m not sick,” you said, annoyed that everyone seemed to be treating you as if you were today. “I know what I heard.”

“What did you hear?”

“You told me to wake up.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, gripping onto your waist tighter.

“You’re right here, wide awake. Why would I say that? ”

“That’s what I want to know.”

* * *

Nothing more was said of the strange interaction. The entire day had been strange. You had heard the people closest to you say weird things and deny them. Even worse, the feeling in your gut and that emptiness in your chest had grown stronger.

You paced through the house most of the night, stepping in to Chuck’s office often just to see him and touch him. It was almost as if you were trying to convince yourself that he was here.

He chuckled softly at you each time you wandered in with drinks and snacks, making up any excuse that you could to just be near him. He’d lean into your touch each time you felt the need to make sure that he was real, almost as if he were comforting you.

When Chuck decided that he wasn’t going to get any work done tonight since you couldn’t help but bother him, the two of you headed to bed together. You gripped onto his hand as he led you to the bedroom, concerned as to why you were afraid to let go.

Even the lovemaking felt… lonely. The emptiness and loneliness that you had started feeling earlier in the day had peaked by now. The feeling in your chest was consuming. Even the intimacy scared you. It was almost as if it wasn’t real.

Afterwards, you held onto Chuck as the two of you laid in bed together. You were afraid to fall asleep at this point. Never before had you ever felt this way, you had no reason to. Something about tonight felt different though.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Chuck whispered in the dark as he traced his fingertips along your bare skin.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“It’s almost as if you’re not even present.”

“I don’t know if I feel present,” you admitted.

“Talk to me.”

“You ever feel like life is almost like a dream?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know…” you trailed off. “I just feel really alone today.”

“I’m right here,” he replied as he brushed a strand of hair from your face.

You could feel him. You felt the brush of his fingertips against your skin, the warmth of his body still pressed firmly against yours. The fact that you were questioning the reality of this moment alone scared you.

“I feel like something is missing,” you said.

“Is this your way of reminding me that you want kids?” He chuckled.

“Someday,” you smiled. “But that’s not what I mean.”

“Tell me.”

You stayed quiet for some time, trying to decide if you should even mention the dream that you had been having. The strangest part about it all was that you knew they were dreams, but you couldn’t shake the feeling as if they were more than that. How could you be having memories of things that you were sure never happened?

When you decided to let Chuck in on it all, you surprised even yourself by the way you casually treated them as if they had been real. Even as you spoke, you felt crazy for talking about them in this way, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Do you remember the time before the apocalypse nearly started? Back when you were the prophet and Sam, Dean , and I were hunters… back when Cas was an angel?”

Chuck glanced up at you, his face turned up in confusion as you spoke.

“I don’t know,” you continued, “I’ve been thinking about that time, and it makes me feel… lost or something.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been having dreams about you,” you whispered as you turned your body on it’s side to face him. “I dream about that time; the pain that you went through, how difficult things were between us. When did things get so good?”

“Oh, I see,” he replied. “So all of what you said was in your dreams.”

“No, just you. I think about the past though.”

You scowled at yourself as you said it. Why were you bringing it up this way? Why were you talking about a past that never existed?

“Prophets, and angels, and apocalypses?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t know what you mean by all of that. I’ve always just been me, a writer. Sam and Dean and Cas, they’re our friends who lead normal lives. They always have.”

Now, you were the one who was confused.

“Tell me something Chuck,” you replied. “How did we meet?”

“You were there,” he chuckled.

“Tell me.”

“We met at a book signing. You showed up to meet me because you loved the book that I had just written. I signed it for you, we got to talking, and I asked you out. The rest is history.”

“That’s how we met?” You asked. It sounded real enough. But somewhere in the back of your mind, there lived an entirely different scenario. The memory that you had was a lot less perfect and a lot less happy.

“Why do you sound so shocked? It’s our story, it always has been. What’s all this talk about everything else?”

“Just a dream I guess.”

Later, after the two of you let the silence wash over you, neither of you daring to speak any more of it, you watched him as he drifted off to sleep. The pain that you felt was stronger than ever. His recollection of your meeting sounded nice… it sounded normal. You held on to the memory that you had; the darker memory. Now, you wondered if you were going crazy. Obviously the things that you felt were real, were not real at all.

 _‘They’re just dreams,’_ you thought to yourself as sleep found you.

* * *

You woke up to another beautiful day. The sun cast itself through the curtains, across your bed and you did the same thing that you did every morning. You snuggled against Chuck, melting into the warmth that you always felt when you were in his arms.

“Mmm, morning,” he muttered sleepily as your movements caused him to stir. He pressed against you and placed a soft kiss to the back of your neck, causing you to sigh happily.

“It’s always a good morning,” you replied.

“You ready for today?”

“I am,” you smiled. “Speaking of, we better get up so we can start getting things ready.”

You and Chuck got up, not before spending a few moments cuddling in bed together, and began to get ready for the day.

It was your birthday, and you had invited all of your friends over for a barbecue to celebrate.

Today though, there was a slight worry in the back of your mind. You tried to push it away as you moved through your morning, but it was there for the first time in a long time. Life had been so perfect, and you wondered why today of all days had you feeling on edge.

After you had prepped for the party, you wandered into Chuck’s study to find him. You leaned against the door-frame and smiled as you watched him type contently on his computer.

“Hey,” you said softly, “people are showing up.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said with a smile, his beautiful blue eyes peering at you over the frames of his glasses.

As you turned to walk away, you couldn’t help but feel as if you had done this all before. The peculiar feeling of something like deja vu washed over you, causing you to shiver.

You glanced back at Chuck quickly, wanting to ask him if this all felt familiar to him as well. You stood there for a second, mouth agape as you stopped yourself. He seemed content and you felt crazy, so you decided to ignore it.

* * *

After the party, and after some strange conversations with your friends that left you with nothing but questions, you sat on the couch. You stared off, some memories replaying in your mind. They shouldn’t have felt like memories, they didn’t seem real in a way. But, they were there, reminding you of a time that was far from what you thought your life really was.

All day you had felt alone and empty. You felt as if you had definitely felt this way before. It didn’t make sense considering the fact that you were happy. You had the perfect life, everything you could ever want.

“I’m going to do some work for a bit.”

You glanced up as Chuck spoke to you. He paused at his study door, watching you as if even he was worried about the thoughts you had been having today.

“Okay,” you replied.

“What’s going on with you today?” He asked as he moved toward you. He stepped in front of you, leaning down so that he could place a kiss to the top of your head.

“Nothing. I just- things feel… off. I can’t figure out why.”

He frowned at you, kneeling down so that he could be at eye level with you. You waited for him to comfort you, to take away this ache that had been growing all day.

He cupped your face in his hands and you looked into his eyes. For the first time ever, you saw a hint of pain in them. You had never seen this look before, other than in those dreams that felt like memories.

“Chuck…” you trailed off as you watched him. You felt yourself tear up, the loneliness growing stronger even though the love of your life was right here. “This has all happened before, hasn’t it?”

“You have to wake up,” he said softly.

Your breath caught. You swear you had heard this before from him. That too felt like a memory. The feeling of deja vu returned and you had the sinking feeling that it wasn’t what it was at all. This had all happened before.

You shook your head as tears fell from your eyes, reaching up to grip onto his hands that still held your face. You wanted to anchor yourself to him, suddenly feeling as if you were losing him.

“I don’t want to,” you said sadly.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

He leaned in and kissed you on the lips while you sobbed and you tightened your grip on him.

“I miss you,” you choked out.

“I know you do,” he replied with a half smile.

“You’re right here,” you said as you began to cry harder. “You’re right here; and I can touch you and see you, but I miss you so much that it hurts. Why do I miss you so much?”

You desperately reached for him, trying to ground yourself with the knowledge that he was here. You could see him and feel him, but something within you felt that you were without him.

“It’s time to wake up,” he said softly.

You stared up at him, taken aback by his words. It felt as if he had been trying to convince you of this for so long, but you ignored it. You didn’t understand what his words meant, but you did know that whatever he meant by it couldn’t be good.

“I don’t want to,” you replied.

“If you don’t, you’ll just stay here forever, always knowing.”

“None of this is real, is it?”

“You know it’s not.”

“Am I dead?”

He simply nodded, blue eyes watching you sadly as he confirmed it.

“I’m in Heaven?” You questioned. “This is my Heaven?”

He nodded again as he stroked your face with his hand. It was comforting in a way, but it made you feel a deeper pain than you had ever experienced.

“I don’t want to go.”

“It’s not your time,” he argued.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Even if you stay, that feeling will never leave.”

“Please-”

“I’ll be here,” he said. “When it really is your time, I’ll be here. And it will be so much better, I promise.”

“I love you,” you whimpered. Now, as the room around you began to fill with a blinding light, you felt the pain. Not just the lonely pain that you had been feeling deep within you lately. This was something else; a sharp ache in your gut, almost as if you were wounded.

“I love you too,” Chuck smiled before leaning back in to place a soft kiss your lips.

You grasped onto him, not wanting it to end. For some reason, you felt that you were going to lose him again, and you tried to fight it.

But, as you closed your eyes and took in the familiarity of his lips on yours, the blinding light became stronger, and you felt yourself slip into what felt like a deep sleep.

* * *

This time, waking up was not as pleasant. You gasped as your eyes shot open, fighting for air while your body instantly reminded you of what had happened.

For a time, you had forgotten. You weren’t sure how long you had been gone for; all you knew was that it had felt like a lifetime.

Now, the memories came flooding back all at once as pain ripped through you. The real memories. You glanced around in a panic, eyes blurry as you attempted to make sense of where you were.

Still gasping, chest heaving, you pieced it all together.

You had been stabbed. This was a hunt gone wrong. You had let your guard down too soon, leaving yourself wide open for the demon to run a knife through you.

The aching, the pain… it was there to remind you of where you had been stabbed.

You reached a shaking hand to your abdomen, flinching as you came into contact with the wound. The warm blood drenched your clothing and now your hand and you internally panicked over how you were now alive.

_‘It’s not your time…’_

You replayed the mantra, Chuck’s words to you, over and over. It meant something. You would not have questioned your world and been sent back if you were meant to die today. This knowledge was the only thing that urged you to muster up the strength to get up. You knew that if you couldn’t find help soon, then it would really be your time to die.

As you stumbled outside to the car, hoping that your phone was there, your memories flooded you.

You thought about how you had met and eventually fallen in love with the prophet Chuck. You recalled the feeling you had when it had been confirmed that he was dead. You felt the years of pain and guilt that had consumed you for so many years. Now, you felt the pain of knowing that you were being given a second chance, even if you didn’t want it; and you were still going to continue on without him. It was all at once and it was overwhelming.

Even worse, you now had a vague memory of what your Heaven could be; what your stolen future with Chuck could have been if life had been a little kinder to both of you.

Still, your Heaven wasn’t ready for you. You understood that.

You held your phone in bloody, shaky hands; trying to focus as you found Dean’s phone number. You were in trouble, and you knew he and Sam were your only lifelines.

After directing them to you, you hung up the phone, leaning against the side of the car as you slowly sank down against it to a sitting position. You tried to steady your breathing as you put pressure on your wound. It would all be okay. They would get to you soon and fix you right up.

As you waited, you thought of Chuck. Not Heaven’s version of Chuck, but your Chuck. You missed him terribly. Even though you had spent the last few years without him, you never stopped thinking about him.

It was almost a relief to know that someday, when your time on Earth really was up, you would end up in a place where you would be with him forever. The fact that you now knew that your perfect Heaven would just be the same perfect day replayed on a loop was okay with you. The knowledge that you would someday leave behind your real life and it’s painful memories in exchange for something simple and mundane, didn’t bother you at all. In fact, you looked forward to it; when the time was right anyway.


End file.
